Which One do You Choose?

If you suffer from any form of depression you have two choices. One, you can ask for help from a professional or two, you can live with depression hoping no one will notice and it won't affect your life much.



The statistics are staggering. Over 40% of women do not seek help for depression due to embarrassment. Over 50% of men with depression do not seek help due to fear of appearing weak. So lets look a little deeper at the costs and benefits of the two options.


1. Even a mild depression can turn into a severe depression very quickly. Depression not only hurts the person suffering from it but their family and friends will be effected as well. Hoping that no one will notice is not reality. Someone is likely to suspect something. Depression is noticable in my ways and on many occasions.

2. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. That is not your fault. It is not of your doing or your choosing. You did not go to Wal-Mart and buy a box of depression, take it home and give it to yourself like you would dye your hair or take a laxative. So why be embarrassed by something that is and was totally out of your control? As someone who spent over 40 years living with a mild depression, I am more embarrassed by those years than with the one that I've admitted to having Dysthymia. Being diagnosed and getting treatment was the best thing to ever happen to me. It is not weakness to seek help when you need it-it is weakness to NOT seek help when you need it.

3. Every day living with depression weakens you, your coping skills, your ability to be a good parent, spouse or sibling. If you seek help and improve due to treatment, that’s strength, not weakness. Seeking treatment for your illness will make you a role model, someone your family can look up to and turn to in tough times. Someone whose actions they can follow. Not having enough respect for yourself and your family to seek help for an illness IS weak and cowardly and arrogant.

4. You’ll won't save money on a mental health assessment, prescriptions and follow up visits-those things can be expensive- but the emotional toll it will take on your every day wil be immeasurable. The financial cost vs. the emotional improvement and stableness you will feel in your everyday life are not comparable. Before I was diagnosed, I would have given Anything, whatever money it costs, to find a cure. The cure is priceless.

5. If you don't ask for help, you don’t have to admit to your faults and your shortcomings. You might have to "bite the bullet" and eventually "tuck your tail in between your legs" but putting your ego aside might just be the best thing you ever do. It was for me. Admit your faults so you can learn and grow. Grow so you can be the person you were meant to be. Be the person you were meant to be because you are only here for a short while-make the most of it while you can.


Seeking help will do several things:

a)improve your quality of life

b)avoid severe depression

c)improve relationships with everyone you know

d) allow you to feel real freedom

e) expand your horizons

f) help others

The list can go on and on and on. When you are happy, your perspective changes, you are emotionally stable, willing to try new things and meet new people and you will feel good about yourself and others.

You’ll have to admit to your mistakes, misgivings and misperceptions. You’ll probably feel terribly guilty at first but those feelings will pass and you’ll be able to move on to a better life, move on to a new and improved you.



So which one do you prefer? A lifetime of denial, depression, feeling no joy and destroying relationships? Or would you rather set your ego aside, admit you need help, finding a treatment-the answers to what's been hold you back- and feeling better than you have ever felt in your life?

The choice is all up to you……


Which one do you choose?


.........Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad.

Ho'oponopono

A Ho’opono-what? Ho’oponopono. It’s an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. I was first introduced to this idea in November 2010 at an I Can Do It! Conference in Tampa Florida by author Marci Shimoff (Chicken Soup for the Soul, Happiness for No Reason.) Ho’oponopono is seen as a mental cleansing; a form of asking for forgiveness, forgiving others and taking 100% responsibility for your actions believing that peace and harmony can only be remedied and strengthened by confession and apology. And it’s actually very easy: every day when you wake up or before going to sleep at night repeat these words either out loud or to your self-


I’m Sorry
Please Forgive Me
Thank You
I Love you.

Many years ago, Ho’oponopono was only performed by members of clergy or priesthood. Today, modern versions have been updated to include families, family elders or just one person wishing for peace and harmony.

In addition, if you wish to extend this practice, you may also repeat the loving/kindness practice which is as follows:

May you be safe, happy, healthy and live with ease.

Just think of someone you know and love that you would want to send good wishes to. You don’t have to call them or tell them you’ve sent them these friendly, nonviolent thoughts, just say their name and wish them the above thoughts. Pick one person everyday to say Ho’oponopono and the loving kindness practices and see what happens-to them and to you. For more information on these practices, go to www.marcishimoffblof.com or www.Happinessfornoreason.com .

.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.

Dreaming

We all dream. All of us. Every time we go to sleep. You may or may not remember your dreams, but you still dream nonetheless. Many folks throughout ancient history believed dreams are significant to our everyday live’s.


Dreams are believed to foretell the future, giving you indications as to how to handle something in your foreseeable future. They are a direct route connecting human mind to the spiritual world according to Gustavus Hindman Miller author of 10,000 Dreams Interpreted.

When you wake up in the morning or in the middle of the night, immediately think of what you were just dreaming. Within 5 minutes after waking 50 percent of your dream is lost and after 10 minutes, 90 percent of your dream is lost. So immediately jot down all details of your dream whatever it is that you remember, even if it is just a few words. Later on you may go back to interpret them to see if they were sending you a hidden meaning or message.

Interpreting your dreams will not be easy as interpretation not only depends on what you were dreaming about but also the context.

For instance, according to 10,000 Dreams Interpreted by Gustavus Hindman Miller, if you dream you are naked that foretells scandal and unwise engagements. However, if in your dream you suddenly discover you are naked and are trying to hide it, that denotes you have sought illicit pleasures contrary to your noblest instincts and are desirous of abandoning those desires. And if you dream of others being naked, that foretells you will be tempted by designing persons to leave he path of duty. Sickness will be no small factor against your success.

Here's a few other, from Miller, that might interest you:

1. To dream of an alligator, unless you kill it, is unfavorable to all persons connected wih the dream. It is a dream of caution.

2. To dream of catching frogs denotes carelessness in watching after your health, which may cause no little distress among those of your family.

3. Dreaming of eating cheese foretells great disapointments and sorrow. No good of any nature can be hoped for. Cheese is generaly a bad dream.

4. If you dream that your teeth are loose, there will failures and gloomy tidings.

5. If you dream that you lose your teeth, you will have burdens which will crush your pride and demolish your affairs.

6. To dream of finding money denotes small worries, but much happiness. Changes will follow.

7. If you dream you lose money, you will experience unhappy hours and affairs will appear gloomy.

8. To dream of dying foretells that you are threatened with evil from a source that has contributed to your former advancement and enjoyment. To dream of others dying forebodes general ill luck to you and to your friends.

9. To dream of a pond denotes that events will bring no emotion and fortune will retain a placid outlook. If the pond is muddy, you will have domestic quarrels.

10. To dream of roses, blooming and fragrant, denotes that some joyful occasion is nearing and that you will possess the faithful love of your sweetheart. Withered roses signify the absence of loved ones. White roses if seen without sunshine or dew denotes serious if not fatal illness.

11. To dream of seeing frost on a dark gloomy morning signifies exile to a strange country but your wanderings will end in peace. If you dream of being in a hailstorm you will meet poor succss in any undertaking.

No two dreams are ever the same whether it is your dream or someone else's. We all dream differently and the same dream may mean different things for different people.

Sweet Dreams!

.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of dysthymia.

Caution: Biting Child

I was biter when I was a kid. So was my mother. My sister and father were not. Why do some children bite and some don’t? I’ve asked myself this question over and over again as I remember injuring my friends and playmates and getting into deep trouble for such actions. I look back now and believe that I bit out of frustration, anger and not knowing how to express myself when I didn’t like something.

Biting is a common behavior among children between the ages of 14 and 24 months. Small children may develop the nasty habit of biting for many reasons some include the following:

• To get attention

• Intimidate younger children

• Feeling powerless and scared

• Teething

• Exploration

• Frustration and stress

• Discovering their independence, trying to do things without help from others

The good news is most toddlers tend to only bite or a short while and will eventually grow out of it. After the age of 3 years old however–as in my case- that child may need help from a mental health care professional.

If you are near a biting child, here are some suggestions you can practice according to www.betterkidcare.psu.edu/:

1. Comfort the bitten child.

2. Say to the biting child “biting hurrrttts”

3. Involve the biting child in helping to comfort and retrieve ice for the bitten child.

4. Teach the biting child new skills like saying “no or “stop

5. Get both children involved in calming activities like looking at a book, or playing with play dough, sand or water

To prevent biting, pay close attention to the child and offer the following:

• Appropriate activities such as arts and crafts and sensory activites like sand, water and play dough. Let your toddler explore and enjoy to reduce frustration and anger.

• Create a good daily schedule with fewer transitions from one activity to the other as well as lowering lights, use songs and give a five minute warning to help make transitions calmer. Also increase the amount of time toddlers spend outside so they can blow off steam and expend energy.

• Provide duplicate toys

• use positive ways for children to seek attention

• Make space for biters

• Play detective. Gather information such as :

1. What time of day, was the child hungry, angry, thirsty, or feeling frustrated?

2. Was he child fighting over a duplicate toy?

3. Was the child facing important changes like toilet training, moving to big bed, new baby in the family?

4. Was the child trying to kiss someone? Teething?

5. Seeking attention?


Dealing and coping with a biting child can be a trying and frustrating time for everyone involved. Be calm, patient and compassionate and with a little time the child will slowly grow out of this behavior.

If all else fails, do what my parents did with me-I accompanied my neighbor to the ER after I bit him, the doctor spoke with me for a minutes-although I do not remember the conversation today-but shortly after that visit to the ER, I stopped biting forever.



.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.

Depression is Depression

.Recently, one of my relatives told me that dysthymia is nothing more than a mild depression, that I should do my research and I was making a big deal out of nothing. Nothing? Depression is nothing?


Here’s why I wrote a book on this rarely talked about disorder:

1. Mild depression can be just as detrimental and devastating to a person and their loved ones as a severe depression. At least 75 percent of people with dysthymia also suffer from another psychiatric disorder, such as anxiety disorder, OCD, drug addiction or alcoholism. In and of itself dysthymia can create havoc on a persons psyche and relationships, affecting everyone they know or encounter. But add to it one or two more untreated disorders-that’s a recipe for disaster.

2. Individuals with dysthymia have a higher than average chance of developing major depression. Which means, if you live with untreated dysthymia for any length of time, as I did, the chances are very good that you will one day sink to an all-time low possibly, even losing your will to live. What is so mild about that?

3. This mental disorder is genetic. If one member of your family is proven to have dysthymia, there is a great possibility that others in your family are affected by it as well. One person in a family with dysthymia is bad enough, but more than one or all members of a family could spell disaster for the cohesion on the group. (See previous blog titled "Anger Has Ripped My Family Apart")

4. Many men and women do not ask for help for depression, mild or severe. But 80% of all people with any form of depression can be helped by medical treatment. Which means, not only can a mild depression devastating, but there is no reason for individuals to tolerate it as if it can't be helped. Seek help, find a treatment that works and your life will turn around for the better. You will feel like a new person.

5. A major sign of Dysthymic disorder is excess, chronic anger. Anger destroys. It destroys whatever and whomever comes along it’s path. Chronic anger and angry outbursts are never good. You will never make friends with anger –your own or anyone else’s. Nothing more than mild depression? No such thing. Depression in any form is a mental illness and needs to be treated. You owe it to yourself, your family and friends and everyone you meet on a daily basis to NOT live with such a debilitating and life-long malady.

If you had diabetes would you refuse to take your insulin? If you were diagnosed with cancer would you refuse any and all treatments you might benefit from? If you had tuberculosis or lymes disease or malaria, would you refuse treatment? I'm betting you most likely would do whatever possible to restore your health and well being. Mental disorders are no different. Please try anything and everything to help yourself and regain your sanity.

There is no such thing as “nothing but a mild depression.” There is much more to dythymia than a sad mood every now and them. Depression is depression. Please seek help so you don’t have to live even one day of your life depressed.

 ....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.